Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
