Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
