Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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