So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
