I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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