He uses pillows to masturbate.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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