I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
