I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
