My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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