But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I am in a vortex of obligation.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
