My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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