I wish i was in the wii world.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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