my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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