jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
