My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Dear god my vagina.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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