So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
this boner is exhausting
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize