I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
