the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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