How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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