feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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