So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
