she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
its liver damage thursday
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
