and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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