If i come over, it means nothing
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
