I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i came on her dog
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If I die, sorry about rent.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
