good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
