My hand turned me down
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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