Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
