I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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