Soap is not a condiment
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
