Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
