When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
