youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
