I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
