I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
