I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
