the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i think my cat just said my name.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize