her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
