Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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