im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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