This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
