i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
