New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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