They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
