U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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