I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize