just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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