ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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