I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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