Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
