you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
