I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
