it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just google imaged poop.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize