So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I need a beard to bite.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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