i was rollin on her like bob the builder
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
