Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
operation harelip BJ is a go
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
