Kiss
Puke
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
