I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
