I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
