my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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