dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
