I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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