You made me cry and you don't even care
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
