I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
