I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
