I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
That's how pantless uber rides happen
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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