After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
