Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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