pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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